If you're going to do a parachute demonstration during your Division Review Ceremony, you'd better be doing it with the 82nd Airborne Division. Otherwise, you get this:
FORT RILEY, Kan. | A civilian parachutist and three members of a military band were injured Thursday in a mishap during opening ceremonies at a 1st Infantry Division review at Fort Riley.
Several thousand people watched the first of two parachutists landed successfully but the second one drop on the 30-member division band. A gasp went up from the crowd, followed by silence as a few rushed over to help. One band member was knocked unconscious. One had neck and head pain and a third suffered a sprained ankle, said Mike Keating, assistant chief of the Fort Riley Fire Department. All three were transported to Irwin Army Community Hospital for treatment.
None of the injuries were considered life-threatening. The jumper refused medical treatment, Keating said.
“We know that they’re going to be all right,” said Gen. Charles Campbell, head of the Army’s Forces Command, which handles personnel, said during opening remarks for the ceremony.
The two parachutists jumped from a small, single-engine plane at about 6,000 feet. Keating said the second jumper’s parachute lines apparently became tangled, pulling him off course. “Two tubas were destroyed,” Keating said, adding that a trombone also was damaged.
After the accident, the band resumed its performance, playing the division’s and the Army’s fight songs, then sounding a trumpet cavalry charge.
The event Thursday was the dedication of Victory Park, honoring veterans and soldiers who have fought and died in wars dating to World War I. The 1st Division is the Army’s oldest, having formed in 1917.
Mechanical problems kept the event’s featured speaker, Lt. Gen. Raymond T. Odierno, from traveling to Kansas for the ceremony. Odierno is the new commander of U.S. forces in Iraq.
"I'll be honest: I didn’t follow all the Disney rules. I played Jack like he was real, and if a woman flirted, I would flirt back. Women loved it. But there were also women who would have too many beers at California Adventure or smuggle in alcohol you could smell on their breath, women who were clearly sloshed.
Here’s a napkin someone wrote on for me: “[Sexual proposition] Kim—714-XXX-XXXX.” I would also get offers from women in my ear: “Anything you want, just find me.” I had a girl who had turned 18 the day before. She was with a high school group, and she wrote down her room number at the Downtown Disney hotel. I had a lady hump my leg one day in the park...
...We were told Disney prefers that the characters don’t date, and the characters even have a slogan: “Don’t Date Disney,” or DDD. Dating at Disneyland is difficult. But I already had a thing for the Ariels when I arrived. They have red hair, and I love red hair. After I met my girlfriend, an Ariel, and we started dating, we would need to talk to each other backstage under our coats because employees would try to snap photos with their phones—Ariel and Jack together...
...We were also not allowed to post pictures of ourselves in costume on MySpace. But I had a picture of Ariel and me kissing backstage, a photo I kept on my private page. I was warned by friends to take it down, and I did, but not before someone made a copy of it and turned it in to Disney. Management pulled me in and talked to me about it."
"Thus began the Second Life Goon tradition of jaw-droppingly offensive theme lands. This has included the re-creation of the burning Twin Towers (tiny falling bodies included) and a truly icky murdered-hooker crime scene (in which a hermaphrodite Furry prostitute lay naked, violated, and disemboweled on a four-poster bed, while an assortment of coded-in options gave the visitor chances for further violation)...As the media hype around Second Life grew, the Goons began to aim at bigger targets. When a virtual campaign headquarters for presidential candidate John Edwards was erected, a parody site and scatological vandalism followed. When SL real estate magnate Anshe Chung announced she had accumulated more than $1 million in virtual assets and got her avatar's picture splashed across the cover of BusinessWeek, the stage was set for a Second Life goondom's spotlight moment: the interruption of a CNET interview with Chung by a procession of floating phalluses that danced out of thin air and across the stage...
Consider the case of the...Titan [class of spaceship, I guess], flown by the Band of Brothers Guild in the massively multiplayer deep-space EVE Online. The vessel was far bigger and far deadlier than any other in the game. Kilometers in length and well over a million metric tons unloaded, it had never once been destroyed in combat. Only a handful of player alliances had ever acquired a Titan, and this one, in particular, had cost the players who bankrolled it in-game resources worth more than $10,000. So, naturally, Commander Sesfan Qu'lah, chief executive of the GoonFleet Corporation and leader of the greater GoonSwarm Alliance — better known outside EVE as Isaiah Houston, senior and medieval-history major at Penn State University — led a Something Awful invasion force to attack and destroy it....the only way to make someone that miserable is to destroy whatever virtual thing they've sunk the most real time, real money, and, above all, real emotion into. Find the player who's flying the biggest, baddest spaceship and paid for it with the proceeds of hundreds of hours mining asteroids, then blow that spaceship up. 'That's his life investment right there,' ..."
And the best part (regarding the destruction of the Titan-class starship):
...The Goons, on the other hand, fly cheap little frigates into battle, get blown up, go grab another ship, and jump back into the fight. Their motto: 'We choke the guns of our enemies with our corpses.' "
Focus: Here's one more quote from the article to reflect upon...
[the somethingawful.com creator] recounts some of the more memorable moments. Among them: numerous cease-and-desist letters from targets of [his website's] ridicule, [and] threats of impending bodily harm from a growing community of rage-aholics permabanned from the SA forums...
I pose the question to all of you now. Is the Internet serious business? I have to say that I have had a few lawsuits and a couple of threats in the past from kickbanned people on The Wolf Web. Anyone else run into these situations?
A woman sits on her boyfriend's toilet for two years. No kidding, the boyfriend fed her and everything while she sat on the toilet for two years. She literally did not move from the toilet for the whole two years. Ew. Read the whole article.
In 1960, President Dwight D. Eisenhower warned America of the ever-growing power of the military-industrial complex. While most critics feel that Eisenhower said this because he felt the military-industrial complex was a threat to democracy, they are mistaken. Ike warned against the growing power of the M-IC because they come up with such useless and pointless classes as the one you are about to witness.
The following class could really be about any piece of military equipment, but this particular one is about the Electronic Data Manager (EDM), or as the pilots call it, "an electronic kneeboard", which is essentially all it really is. (Kneeboards are the little notepad-like folders pilots strap to their thighs so that they can have their maps and mission notes strapped to them in flight) Normally, I wouldn't go into this much detail on a piece of military equipment, but since Raytheon readily advertises the thing all over the Internet, there's really no security risk in talking about it here.
"Greetings. As you might have noticed by the fact that I'm wearing civilian clothes and my gut is hanging over my belt, I'm a contractor for [insert company here]. I'll be teaching you this four-hour class today on this piece of equipment. Now, I'm not a pilot, I'm a programmer. This means that not only am I unable to empathize with what aviators truly want to know about this piece of equipment, but also with people in general. This is why I'm starting class eight minutes past the hour, even though I should have taken a hint by noticing how bored you all were arrying on an in-depth conversation on how Ferris Bueller can attend all the events he did in the course of one school day.
So let's get started. I'm first going to tell you how great our company is and the names of all the civilians for whom I work. You have no idea who these people are, but I just like talking about them and my job anyway, even though it has little real relevence to you. Anyway, here's about an hour's worth of information on the programming code and telecommunications built into this thing. None of this actually applies to you, but it applies to me, the programmer, and to the people who are buying this thing. Like I said before, I can't really empathize with the needs of pilots, I just feel the need to drone on about the sales pitch for this thing.
Anyway, here's what this thing will be coming out with in the future. Again, it doesn't affect you now, but it affects the buyer, so here I am talking about it. It says here on this PowerPoint slide that in the future, this thing will be able to check weather. Is weather important to pilots? I heard that it was.
Anyway, you've been in class for an hour, so it's now time for a break. I can tell you really got a kick out of everything that I talked about, because you instantly went back into your conversation about Ferris Bueller once I stopped talking.
Now that you're back from your break, let's talk about the history of this product, shall we? I know that's not important to you, but I like talking about my job, so here goes. This EDM (you guys are just going to call it an electronic kneeboard, but I think I'll use another useless acronym to refer to it) has been in development since 1999--which means that it's been in development longer than the Apollo 11 program. Since it's been in development for the last 9 years, it uses a computing system equivilant to a 1999 laptop--which has less processing power than the Blackberry you currently have in your pocket. It's bulkier, slower, more expensive and less user-friendly than other electronic moving-map kneeboards on the market from Garmin right now. But of course, you're well aware of that--you've already bought the Garmin with your own hard-earned money as it features more accurate GPS signals than the 1990-model GPS in your Blackhawk.
You'll also notice that this product is made in states like New York and California, adding to the truly American spirit of this piece of equipment. It also guarantees that if the Army realizes what a colossal piece of junk this is and decides not to buy it, even the most liberal senators will get upset and raise hell for cutting jobs on the senate floor.
But let's finally begin with the product itself. It runs on a 800 mhz processor and has 632 MB of RAM and runs Windows XP. Haha, I know you're thinking, 'why would we use Windows XP if it's prone to so much crashing and malware'? Well, it's because most aviators are familiar with Windows XP. Nevertheless, I will spend at least an hour teaching you how to save a file, create a directory, drag and drop, and do everything that you can easily figure out by simply hitting the "help" button. There's good news, too, for the development of this product. This 800 MHZ machine will soon be upgraded to run on Windows Vista! Now this thing is sure to run much better!
Rest assured that you are receiving only the best and most technologically advanced equipment Raytheon and the US military has to offer. This revolutionary new technology is in use in such aircraft as the V-22 Osprey [ed note: I wish I were making this line up. A collective "oh shit" came up from the peanut gallery at this line and at the Windows Vista line]
Now, I've noticed that in the past few hours, you've taken the liberty to ignore everything that I've said and have started to use this thing on your own. Granted, you've learned more in two hours of playing with this system on your own than you would have learned by me talking to you, but please don't work ahead.
You'll also notice that there are icons on the screen which represent individual units which you can communicate with via a text-messaging service. This is an revolutionary concept designed by generals and programmers to increase the former's situational awareness and justify the latter's jobs. Granted, we should have realized that text messaging is dangerous enough while driving, let alone flying around power lines, talking on five different radios at once, and dodging the occasional missile, but we're certain you'll find a way to communicate great information through...
...wait, would the aviator who text messaged "Medics are gay" to the Medevac aircraft and "If you ain't Cav, you ain't a flaming homosexual" to the Cav's squadron commander please stop doing that? I would expect this sort of behavior from teenage boys, not from adults. Female adults, no less.
And it's on a site called "hellokittyhell.com". Humanity has just hit a new low. And apparently, so have I for clicking on the link.
And now your daily Star Wars. From the Star Wars Robot Chicken Special. Just fast forward to the 2 minute mark for..."The Empire Strikes Back on Ice"!
If you think this is a crazy idea, just keep in mind that during the late 80s, George Lucas was about to authorize a Star Wars Broadway musical. But then he did Episode I. I'm not sure which would be worse...
One of the amusing things about the military, the Soviet Union, and I guess large businesses in general is that the powers that be decide that, as their first act, they will change the names of all the institutions in the country.
Just as Soviet Russia decided to change the name of St. Petersburg to Leningrad to Stalingrad to Leningrad and then to St. Petersburg, our military seems to have some sort of schizophrenia about what it should call all of its institutions.
By far the most amusing instance in the US military is at Fort Rucker, and throughout the whole Army Aviation community. With the War on Terror, the US Army Aviation Center decided that, to reflect their "combat nature", they would become the US Army Aviation Warfighting Center.
What the hell did that accomplish? Seriously, I know that re-naming the Aviation Center was probably some ploy to attract more money to your cause, but I suspect 1/2 of that will go towards changing all the signs and the letterheads around base. Wouldn't it have been much more simple to just keep the name the same? I mean, we already assume that because you're the US Army, "warfighting" is kind of implied, right? The same with renaming all the "Aviation Brigades" as "Combat Aviation Brigades". Not only is this a real-life instance of life imitating art, or at the very least, the old "Department of Redundancy Department" joke, but it's also confusing as well.
"Hey Steve, let's meet at the CAB headquarters" "Okay, I'll meet you at the Cav[alry] headquarters", says Hey Steve. And there was not much rejoicing afterwards because they couldn't meet at the same place to go drinking afterwards.
Along the same lines of "Combat Aviation Brigade" is renaming a "Brigade" as a "Brigade Combat Team". This is what a Brigade is after it's been "Transformed". I, personally, think it would be cool to call them "Transformed Brigades". Then I realized that the following conversation would take place.
Optimus Prime: Brigade, Transform! Brigade Commander: (makes transforming sound) Okay, I transformed! Optimus Prime: What the fuck did you transform into? Brigade Commander: I transformed into what we used to call a "UEx". We transform from one brigade into another brigade! Perceptor: You know, I transform into a microscope, and I'm also pretty much the Autobot bitch around here. But despite that, even I'm not that lame.
Even more amusing is the Army Safety Center, which decided to thoroughly confuse everyone and rename themselves the US Army Combat Readiness Center.
Yes, despite the combat-sounding name, they're still the guys you send your accident reports to when a crew chief falls off a barstool at the Lizard Lounge and breaks her wrist. (In theory, of course...) Yes, no matter what they change their name to, everyone still just calls them "the safety center".
What really gets me about the Safety Center is that they keep re-naming that weekend driving risk assessment program every other month. The Safety Center allows soldiers to enter information about their upcoming trip so that they can calculate how much risk they will be running into when they're driving. Supposedly, this will prevent accidents. There is also beachfront property in Arizona.
What makes it difficult is that they keep assigning this program all sorts of bizarre acronyms, like ASMIS, ASMIS-2, and now, "TRiPS". That's right, just like "CHiPS", so the youngins think it's about being cool and riding on your motorcycle with your Eric Estrada sunglasses until they realize that they've been duped, it's all about driving safely. Life is cruel.
Focus: Does your workplace just arbitrarily change the names of stuff for no apparent reason?
And sexy exciting news coming Friday or this weekend or whenever I get serious about updating.
Since I've pretty much exhausted all the fun Star Wars videos for now, here's another Transformers video.
Warning: If you don't find Autobots cursing and swearing at one another amusing, don't watch this video. And seriously, see a shrink, because giant fighting robots cursing and swearing is awesome.
Major: There will be a lot of infantry people at this meeting [that I, the writer, will be attending], so don't be surprised if you hear "Um...me big stick, want iron horse to fly".
I decide I am going to join in on the fun.
Me: ME GRIMLOCK NO BOZO! ME KING!
A captain looks at me quizzically. I just lit off a spark in his memory.
Captain: Where does that come from? I know that.
A female lieutenant fields the question.
Lt: It's from the Transformers! Me: Yeah, don't you remember the Dinobots?
Major: When captains are talking about watching the Transformers as kids (does mental math), yeah, I think it's time to retire.
XXXXXXXXXXX
So this morning (after the quote) I finish my Crossfit workout and go to the gym to shower.
That's when I notice something odd about my gym bag.
ME GRIMLOCK FORGET BOOTS!
So off I went to drive 45 minutes back home because I forgot to pack my boots this morning. Anyone else have problems like this?
Wow. I'm not certain what to say for some of these.
Translators for French and Farsi needed (what a coincidence, I have some of those on my friends list). I guess that no matter how much more advanced other countries' school systems may seem, they still can be as bad as ours. Or worse, if you look at the videos.
(And people think that the US is a violent nation?)
...Nothing could possibly go wrong with this, right?
The insurance company had a tow truck tow my Jeep to a shop and had the rear window replaced, since the movers saw fit to demolish not only the window but also the hinge assembly. All was well and the body shop decided to tow the Jeep back to a place where I could pick it up at the airport. As soon as they made a tight turn, the whole fucking Jeep hard top fell off the Jeep and into the street.
Kind of let that image sink into your mind. It's actually funny in retrospect. But I digress.
I have no idea how this happened. Did they take a turn way too tightly? Accelerate too quickly? Take out the bolts and forget to secure it? WTF?
(But, luckily, they're claiming this as part of my insurance so I get a free top. Yay. I think.)
Focus: What's the stupidest "XTREME ENERGY DRINK" you see sold? How much is it being sold for? What's with everyone at AAFES stocking up on those "Monster"-brand drinks, too? What's the stupidest "XTREME" gimmick you've seen recently?
So since we only got one day for a weekend, we decided to go off to Nashville for the evening and, well, we didn't have a real plan, so we wound up just drinking at multiple alcoholic establishments. Actually, that sounds like enough of a plan for me. My penchant for finding myself in outrageous situations will take care of the rest.
I packed a small bag for the night. I didn't have any clean shirts, save for one T-Shirt.
That's right, THE T-shirt.
We went to bar #4 or 5 or so, and I had a Guiness. Looking at my watch, it was about 12:30. With bars closing at 2 a.m., the night was drawing to a close. A group of people at the table next to me decided that it was time for them to go as well. As one member of the group passed our table, he asked me what my shirt said. I held it out for him to read.
"That's awesome", slurred the massive Tennessee native. "Thanks" "Where are you guys from?" he asked. "Uh, New York" "New York?" he exclaimed in surprise. He looked like he wanted to fight. Based on his size, he could have taken on all three of us at once. "Yeah, but we're just here on business", I explained. "Oh, OK. Well, later" he said, walking off.
We decided to go to another bar on the other side of Nashville. We hailed a cab and wound up at one of those Coyote Ugly bars (it's a chain). After an hour, guess who I see in the Coyote Ugly?
If you said Massive Tennessee Drunk Guy, you might be right.
Massive Tennessee Drunk Guy (MTDG) picks me out of the crowd as he and his posse are leaving the bar. He's clearly in "I love you, man" mode at this point. I figure this is better than "I want to break people" mode. He puts his hand around me and informs me that he's staying in the Millennium Maxwell House Hotel.
Okay, so 1.) A Dude just told me what hotel he's staying in and 2.) Strangely enough, it's the same hotel we're staying in.
He asks me where I'm staying, and I kind of obfuscate, "Well, uh, my friend booked the hotel, so I don't know what the name of it is".
While the Massive Tennessee Drunk Guy has his arm around me, he points out a hot female Coyote bartender and informs me that if I give her two dollars, I can place the two dollars anywhere.
"So tell me. What would you do to that girl?" asks MTDG. "Uh, I guess I'd fuck her" I say, not certain what to say to make the guy just go the hell away and not break us in half. "Would you fuck her in the ass" "Sure!"
He takes a serious look at me and contemplates this.
"I like that" he says.
Oh fuck.
Just then, my friend informs me that we need to look for our other friend because it's time for us to go. Wingmen: helping people disengage from hostile contact since 1914.
So we hail a cab and get going back to the hotel. As we get to the hotel lobby and make our way towards the elevator, guess who's coming through the lobby door? You know how these stories go...
Not wanting to attract attention, we speed up our step, hustling one another along. Immediately, my wingman hits the button for the fifth floorr. I urge the wingman to hit the "close door" button. I half expect to see a massive hand come through the door as it's closing. Fortunately, we're up, up and away without incident as we sprint from the elevator, race into the hotel room and deadbolt the door. I give the closet one final look before going to bed, praying that the guy doesn't find some way to look me up in the morning.
I guess it all has something to do with the Darth Vader "Dark Side Cookies" T-shirt.
Focus: Anyone almost get raped by a creepy Massive Tennessee Drunk Guy this weekend?
Who remembers this show? I actually got to thinking something bizarre during my last post: All the puppets for the consonants were male puppets, and all the puppets for the vowel characters were vowels, right? So what's the deal with Y? I can't remember what the Y character was. Was it a male? Was it a female? Does the Y character spontaneously change gender when going from words like "You" to "Fly"? I really shudder when I think about this.
And the more I think about it, the more I really wish I could remove the "Squish Box" from my childhood memories.
Damn, was there I time I was actually amused by this show? Focus: How many Jaeger Bombs would it take for this to be amusing again? I have a four-day weekend coming up, and I think I might have an answer for you...
Focus: When you were a Freshman in high school, did you ever go to the pay phones and call 1-900-FAT-GIRL just to hear the intro without having to pay and giggle when the operator referred to herself as "Tina Tonnage"? Oh wait, this might just be me...
It won't be till Monday when I have all the comments that were made during this briefing, but suffice it to say, we aviation captains are a prime example of social deviance.
We all get spam. No matter what websites we avoid or what filters we put up, we are still going to get dozens of e-mails that slip through, promising penis enlargements and the like. What's even more amusing about some of these spam mails is that it seems that they just took every single curse word, put them into a computer, and had the computer select curse words at random to blast out over e-mail.
With all due respect Do you want to share millions? Account number please
Free Verse "Buy one, Get One"
Respond today And you will Suffer no more Knowing We have the cure What you Must buy Never Needed
Limerick "Nigerian Fairy Tale"
I write to you from far away We have money we must give away So give us bank number and name We will reply with the same And take all your money, same day!
Cinquain "A Pill and a Pump"
Small Limp, Sad Women get mad But take our stuff! Everything’s Up
Hate your job? You're not alone. At Disgruntledworforce.com, I discovered that photographers (who work in schools on picture day), IT managers (who catch people watching teenage webcam videos during work) and, yes, even strippers (because they're, well, strippers) can experience frustration with their jobs. Good read. Post some of your horror stories.
Elizabeth Hurley's beach deck is destroyed by residents of Mumbai. Apparently, clashes between the residents of Mumbai, India and Elizabeth Hurley over her lavish wedding extravaganza are worthy front-page CNN news. You heard that correctly, a deck built to host Elizabeth Hurley's six-day wedding party (what number marriage is this? Two? Three?) is destroyed and it makes front-page news. Whereas hundreds of residents of Alabama lose their entire houses in a sudden tornado and get the same amount of coverage.
Elizabeth, all we pay you for is this. Well, that and the Austin Powers movie. That CNN is slowly moving towards tabloid reporting (good discussion on the Tucker Max board) is making me think more and more of the decadence which preceded the downfall of Rome.
As a SCUBA diver from NC, I'd always heard it rumored that a team from UNC was investigating the Queen Anne's Revenge (Blackbeard's ship) off the coast of NC. Apparently, it is the real deal. Check out the headline from CNN: "Is it Blackbeard's Ship? Archaeological Booty says 'Aye'".
And it seems aviendha1979 has hit upon an interesting fact. Most of Youtube and Google Video has become a wasteland of people singing and doing stupid stuff in front of their webcams, after the copyright people took down all the cool videos. Indeed, when I uploaded some videos to Google Video (from our briefing antics this past week), I noticed that the "Related Videos" section for these videos includes (as the #1 choice), these two German chicks singing "Barbie Girl". For some reason, I don't know why, I watched this video. Repeatedly. Apparently, a lot of people did too, as they just got voted in as the "Google Idol".
So, soldiergrrrl , if you are in the Frankfurt area, please ask these two girls if they put subliminal messages or something like that in these videos. Seriously. They've even got their own Wikipedia entry now.
HILTON HEAD ISLAND, S.C — A man toting a 3-foot sword apparently met his match when he broke into his ex-girlfriend's apartment: The woman's roommate grabbed a sword of his own and sliced the intruder, police said.
The roommate, a sword collector, fended off the ex-boyfriend, who was cut on the arm, police said.
Elvis Javier Polanco, 18, was treated at a hospital and charged with burglary and aggravated assault, Beaufort County sheriff's Capt. Toby McSwain said. He said Polanco broke a window and climbed on his friend's shoulders to get into the apartment.
The roommate, Louis Delgado Hernandez, disarmed the intruder while the woman called police, McSwain said.
So good news today. We finally won our first ultimate frisbee game. It was actually quite nice this morning. Foggy, and about 60 degrees F. Perfect weather for running around.
The awesome details underneath the cut (includes many videos and pictures)
The more I read this, the more I realize what a bizarre life I lead...
Until very recently, all pilots, regardless of what airframe they wound up flying, found themselves flying OH-58A/C Kiowas during Basic Combat Skills in flight school. The A and C models (as opposed to its younger and bigger brother, the D model) was a Vietnam-era observation helicopter, which is really just a military version of the Bell 206 JetRanger.
Every aircraft has an operator's manual that you need to know backwards and forwards. Every so often, there would be a change published to the operator's manual. Usually, it allowed for new equipment to be taken off/installed, or it would have a big WARNING: DON'T DO THIS when someone had an accident that the manual couldn't warn against initially. That being said, we'd get a small booklet of pages that we would insert into our operator's manuals, taking out the old pages and inserting the new changes.
The last few pages we replaced were in a section of the book where there was a govenment form (DD Form 2028-2) where one could note any errors or changes to the manual, and mail in these changes to the publisher (postage paid for, of course). Seems that the old form wouldn't suffice. When I looked at the old form and the new form, I only noticed one change between the forms.
(You need to click on it to view it in all its glory. Then go back to this post.)
Yes, the new form felt it necessary to insert a female cartoon character who now encouraged people to "Jot down the dope" on this form.
I should mention that I was inserting this page into my manual in 2003.
Additionally, I notice that there's also two more things that irks me about this form.
1.) "In this space, tell us what is wrong...". Was it really necessary to write "in this space"? It's at the top of a blank block. People will know that their writing goes in this block. Just tell us what to write.
2.) Apparently, you just fold this paper in half and drop it in the mail. So why is it necessary to have the soldier fill out the "date sent" block? Would the postmark on the back not be an obvious giveaway?
Okay, I just now noticed a third thing. It doesn't say "In this space, tell us what is wrong...", it says "in this space, tell what is wrong". I guess it has a more "All Your Base Are Belong to Us" sound to it. ("What you say?" "Move ZIG for great justice!")
Not that I'm any better, I just laugh at seeing this in an official military publication. I mean, someone had to have proofread that thing. Right?
Infantry commanders: It is best to thoroughly think out your Priority Intelligence Requirements and ask for specific things like, "number of MANPADS in this area", as opposed to "Uh, just look for any unusual activity in this 50km grid".
Because Army Aviation WILL come through on that last one. (Or, in this case, a UAV).
The end of 2006 was kind of a lull period for me. After the Honduras adventure, the last two months of 2006 were quite dull and frustrating. That's not to say they didn't have their typical Crispin Burke moments.
Take this Christmas, for example.
I had just sealed the deal on my new apartment, and was waiting for the previous resident to move out. The day before I was scheduled to move in and get my household goods delivered, I get a letter from my parents saying that they were leaving for my sister's graduation in two days.
Well, fuck. That left me one day to move all my stuff in, and then the next day to drive myself up to South Carolina. And then one more day for me to drive up with my parents to my sister's graduation in Fairfax, VA. Presumably, when one says that they're going to graduation, I assume that they're going to see someone walk across the stage.
Well, that's what I get for assuming... ( Read more... )
Okay, here's a recap of Toga Party Night. I swear, I think the Task Force Commander is going to gather everyone together in a trial like they did to the Deltas in Animal House. There must have been something in the air last night that just lead to destruction and mayhem. Or, maybe it was because the Air Force people were at the end of their rotation. Furthermore, it was a 1-228th Tag-in night ($2500 tab), plus a Club Med Toga night. (Yes, only at this base) I'm going to write up an in-depth narrative of this in a little bit, but the highlights.
I'm going to El Salvador this weekend and staying in the Presidente Sheraton. Plus some contractors have the Presidente Suite in the Mariott in Tegucigalpa for Friday night. Sweet. Update to follow on Tues evening.
Don't forget to read the funniest page of hate mail ever. The guy who runs the realultimatepower.net site gets by far the best hate mail. I coughed up my afternoon cappuccio it was so funny.
I am a single mother. A single mother of three boys! And it's tough enough to keep them from acting up without people like you in the world. You are a disgrace to the whites, if you're white. My second born son has been, as you call it, "flipping out" recently and he started doing so around the same time the boys discovered your site. And surprise surprise, my son seriously harmed his brother AND now his behavior is affecting his schoolwork. Are you going to tutor him, jerk? I'm a single mother! His rambunctious attitude is going to get him put in jail or even juvenile hall. You are encouraging kids to go berserk and disregard rules. I demand that you take down this immediately, before I call the police. Trust me, mr. hamburger, this is one single mother of three boys you do not want to mess with. I will lobby to have your site banned for the rest of your life. I'll see you in court. Write me back and we'll talk some more.
yours,
a single mother of three boys you do not want to mess with
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